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Bethel

by Rorschach

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1.
goin' down the same road ridin' on the same train stopin' at the same stops dealin' with the same delays, over and over what has my life become? when i look in the mirror there are little red lines growing from the sides of my eyes
2.
the day you left is the day i stayed i still remember when you drove away i stared at the empty road and wondered how i'd spend my days but pretty soon the days turned to weeks and i spent every week doing nothing at all and when the weeks turned to months, a year went by before it was even fall (multiple tracks of mumbling) if i died tomorrow, would i have wasted my life? is the whole point of life just to survive? should you work in misery for months on end, just to build for a future that may never arrive? day in, day out, i'm drenched in doubt day out, day in, i'm bathed in sin old frown, worn down, and thread-bare don't worry i'm hangin' in there my baby came home today asked to see how everything had changed i didn't have the heart to say everything around here is exactly the same as it was when you left last year i tried to get anywhere but here, but couldn't leave the pier
3.
Anti-Christ 02:01
you came all this way to see, the face of evil some days i think i'll see it too you were probably expecting horns and hooves i hope i haven't disappointed you did the sulfur in the smoke make it hard to see? did serpents circle 'round your chest and make it hard to breathe? did you think that you would find the anti-christ? x2 will you keep pretending? to believe that i am somehow less than human? was there ice upon the ground that made it hard to stand? was there fire in my handshake? did it hurt your hand? did you think that you would find the anti-christ?
4.
Almond Trees 04:20
almond trees belong in the yard all of you belongs in my arms living life takes effort enough what's the point if you don't have love? chain us to the planet then leave (alive and screaming) leave us just enough rope to dream (always dreaming) leave the sky above us, too high (always out of reach) give us eyes to look at the sky (a place we'll only see) still for all the love i've been shown i am scared of dying alone every night i stare at a wall crying for the fate of us all i don't want to think about god his absence or existence at all every hour wasted on him is an hour you have not lived and all i want is to sit in silence with you (and not need to see) to see the sky for what it is (it's not just a place that's empty) to pass a gravestone and not think about my own to accept i'll die, and just exist
5.
Rock Bottom 02:59
i've been working every day and somehow i'm still broke, and i'm still tired i'm too tired to do my job most days that's ok, i'll just get fired i only had about ten friends this time last year now i'm down to four and worst of all despite all this i'm bored i'm bored if this a'int rock bottom i don't know what is x2 if i can get lower i swear i'll get there x2 i swear i never used to get this angry i'd always smile and laugh i don't wanna think of all the ways i've changed so i'll just cut this verse in half if this a'int rock bottom i don't know what is x2 i feel it getting lower and it scares me i feel it getting lower and i'm scared to death i'm tired of self-destruction i'm tired of being angry i'm tired of being tired i'm tired of the space around me i just wanna be well and it's not your fault that you can't tell if this a'int rock bottom i'm scared of what is x2 if i can get better i swear i'll get there x2
6.
the little red lines growing from the sides of my eyes can't stretch anymore they're touching the center my hand's always shaking my legs all feel weak the little red signs growing out from the roadside all tell me to "stop" or at least yield to traffic the ground that's beneath me is broken in half (((~~~))) i'm trapped in my head x4 i'm going to bed x4

about

recorded at a cabin in Bethel, Maine during the autumn of 2017.

just as the leaves were changing.

credits

released November 12, 2017

music - rorschach
photography - deanna jean smith
design - r.s.mattsson

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all rights reserved

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about

Rorschach New Jersey

Mostly improvised solo material from Rob. Project named after my late rabbit.

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